Recently I was purging my life of memories and thought I would share some tips with you. Don’t film yourself looking at old photos because it’s both creepy and depressing. Next, don’t show new lovers old photos of old lovers and say how cute they looked in that particular dress. Another handy hint is to make sure you open plenty of windows when burning things, smoke inhalation is dangerous. Actually, ignore the first 2 suggestions and just take heed of the third, it’s the most important and most true.

To follow on from yesterday, I shaved my head again. I mean, I’ve done this before, but this time i couldnt find a mirror. I have no idea whether I chunks missing out of my head or “trendy” clumps of hair sticking out in weird places. I don’t want to be trendy, or do I? I want to be able to ironically wear jogging when I exercise, but secretly want to wear them cause they are less restrictive than other shorts. Does that make me trendy? I hope not. Lessons for today- buy a mirror, jogging shorts are teh coolz and don’t shave your hair whilst listening to At The Drive In’s amazing final record- Relationship Of Command.

It’s the half way mark of Movember! If you haven’t donated some money, plz do! Don’t give money to these imposters who are growing moustaches cause it’s cool. Those people annoying me exponentially. One thing I realised is that you can make your moustache seem more awesome by shaving your head. Currently the hair on my head is much shorter than my facial hair and therefore makes it seem more adequate and substantial. So do yourself a flavour and shave yr ‘ed. Also on a strange side note, the movie Anchorman uses the “pants” a staggering 11 times. That has to be some kind of record for a non pants-based movie.

I’ve always fallen fast with too much trust in the promising that
“no one’s ever been here, so you can quell those wet fears.”
And I want purity, i must have it here right now.
But don’t you get me started now.Oh don’t you get me started now, don’t you get me, don’t you get me.

As a follow-up to yesterday’s post and how great summer is. One think I can tell you for free, is that moustache/beards are not all that fun in Summer. We were thinking yesterday that Movember really should be in July. Sure you would have to lose probably the most alluring thing about it (the name) but husbands in winter they know the truth! Facial hair is meant for the winter, or places where it’s still cold in Summer. I’m guessing in the Northern hemisphere it’s cold in November, but that doesn’t really constitute enough reason to move to the US, or does it?

I tell you, 2 things that I never thought would go together well…a dangerously high fever and indoor cricket! Turns out they are like 2 peas in a pod and they go together like shannanadooobeeebadoobewop. Delirium is apparently a good friend of mine and is always there to help me yell something inappropriate!

My body (the wonderland) has given up the ghost. I don’t quite know what was so awesome or addictive about the ghost, but I have given it up. I think the early Monday morning is totally pwnz0ring my body. I have multiple ailments!! Multiple! Atleast I wasn’t hit by a ute on my bike. Sorry to hear that Hermano.

I bought a cricket bat. You might think it was overkill, as I only play once a week and I am terrible at batting. I want to be like one of those kids who have all the best gear and think they are the best, and then they cry when they lose. So apparently you have to “knock them in”, which unbeknown to me involves hitting the bat for 8 hours with a mallet or a ball on a stick. I mean I do some things that blatantly waste time, but even that’s outta my league.

What can I say!! The tension has been building and building and now I just can’t control it anymore! ***EXPLOSIONZZZZZ*** Today is the accumulated culmination of all kinds of crazy! Firstly, and most importantly today is the 100TH POST!!!!!!! ONE HUNDRED DAYS OF AWESOMENESSZZZ!!! I honestly can’t believe it. It’s incredible, I am incredible. Thanks for sharing in it’s and my awesomeness. Secondly, today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day!!! We have got on board at work and altered the site. It’s all very exciting, so swab the deck and hoist the main sail because there is much booty to be plundered! Thirdly, it is my lame co-worker’s birthday, guess who’s getting Jolly Ranchers, Corn and Republicans?!?!!!!!!!!11!1!!1! 100!!!!!!!

It was one of those days today. I mean so far I’m not sure whether I’m winning or not. Both my sporting teams lost and there have been constant reminders of my lack of transport, but on the other hand I got a free 500ml bottle of milk. It’s a tough decision, I think I may wait this one out and decide at the end of the day.