I mean if I wasn’t so lonely I wouldn’t have all this time on my hands. And like they say, time on your hands is like an unopened Christmas present from your parents.  For all you know it could be that a new Transformers figurine that you’ve wanted since you were 11 which has been made even more cooler now that the new movie is super-awesome. BUT it could also be 6 pairs of underwear that you mentioned that you needed sometime back in August. It’s really the luck of the draw with time, you hope for the best, hope something good comes along- but in the long run you know your going to end up with 6 pairs of gruds.

So I couldn’t access this computer yesterday, so it’s a day late. Sad times, I know. Makes me cry on the inside, not on the outside of course. The outside is all about fake confidence and an assuring glimmer in my eye that lets you know I’m a complete mess on the inside and probably the loneliest guy you know.

I’m a lonely guy. You know it ’s true, and I know it’s true. This was amplified the other day when I went to a supermarket and bought a “Complete Caesar Salad Kit”. I mean there was only one of me and I knew I would have to throw half of it away. When I got it home I opened to find that even pre-packaged,grocery-store bought salads were making fun of me. 3, Three, tres packets of croutons! It’s like the Complete Caesar Salad Kit said, “Hey you probably couldn’t even eat 1 packets of croutons, so here’s 3…how does that feel (loner)?” Yeh, salad talks to me. At the time, I was like WHOA ZOMG!! TEH AWESOMEZZ! Someone really must like me by giving me 3 crouton packets…just like the time they had 2 for 1 Curly Wurlies. But the more I think about it, the more I realise how lonely I really am. Anyone want to share my “croutons”…

….best pick-up line ever!

I am sitting eating a White Knight and thinking about yesterday. I went to my mates going away BBQ where I was promised to be the guest of honour (sole reason for going) and was later told that this was not the case. So as you can imagine I was already quite ‘put-out’ . The icing on the cake came when my friend’s mother complimented me by saying I was ‘relatively human’. Thanks Mrs Garner, I thought we had something special going on.

I recently saw the movie- 21. It made me realise that I am probably not cut out for a career in card counting. It has really put a dent in my self esteem today, and as most people know Thursday is not a great day for my self-esteem. But if anyone is keen to hit up the casino this weekend, I’ve got this system….