As you may or may not have noticed there is a page on the right where you can now submit your own hat for matt. It’s pretty darn exciting. I know how all of you out there have awesome photo-editing skillz, so why not show me what you got!

Ladies and gents hear my words and hear them true- “The ability to read is a wonderful gift, do not take it for granted”. I know, seems like something that should be so ingrained into our psyche, but so much of the time it just isn’t. Be thankful that you can read this, literacy is a powerful tool and something that YOU should be thankful for. /rant. Can I just say this- the next time you go to buy bread from the local IGA supermarket MAKE SURE you read the small print that says ‘1 inch thick slices’.

ps. This was going to be a tribute to Powdered Toast Man, but I couldn’t find a hat.

I don’t feel so well. You might say it is the fault of my recent visit to the only Pizza Hut all-you-can-eat restaurant left in the world. Well I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that you should say it… because it is true. I don’t prescribe to my friends notion that they have all shut down because of Australia’s obese population. I think they have all shut down because they make you feel like this. How? Like this.

Seriously, why? They are so dang good. If wasn’t so completely stupid and possibly the worst idea ever thought of by a human being, I would seriously consider calling my son or daughter “Cheesymite Scroll”.  I also like Fresh Cream Donuts, but calling a child that is just rediculous. Imagine the kind of name-calling that they would have to endure in school! No Thanks!

Ticket number 1! In all my years of super fandom I have never received the first ticket to something! I would to think that I have been rewarded for something, but really it holds no stead in relation to anything. I am excited none the less! Excited to the Maxx!! When I found the money for it in the sewer and bought it, I was so invigorated that I felt like running all the way home and telling Grandpa Joe!

I’m a lonely guy. You know it ’s true, and I know it’s true. This was amplified the other day when I went to a supermarket and bought a “Complete Caesar Salad Kit”. I mean there was only one of me and I knew I would have to throw half of it away. When I got it home I opened to find that even pre-packaged,grocery-store bought salads were making fun of me. 3, Three, tres packets of croutons! It’s like the Complete Caesar Salad Kit said, “Hey you probably couldn’t even eat 1 packets of croutons, so here’s 3…how does that feel (loner)?” Yeh, salad talks to me. At the time, I was like WHOA ZOMG!! TEH AWESOMEZZ! Someone really must like me by giving me 3 crouton packets…just like the time they had 2 for 1 Curly Wurlies. But the more I think about it, the more I realise how lonely I really am. Anyone want to share my “croutons”…

….best pick-up line ever!