My workmate currently has some form of pneumocystis carinii pneumonia (fingers crossed), but this is based on my 20 minute Internetz research this morning.  He is on this stuff called “Irish Moss”, which I am led to believe has hallucinogenic properties. There is nothing on the labelling to suggest this, but there is nothing on the labelling to suggest that it doesnt either. He claims that it’s medicinal and it is also has storng links to success in love and fanances. I say , “Just because Bono swears by it, doesn’t mean you should.”

Danger Danger high voltage!! When we touch…when we kiss etc. There is a real air of safety in the atmosphere today. I recently bought one of those “heaters that burn people’s houses down”(my workmates exact description) and it has made me a lot more cautious about EVERYTHING! I am thinking about releasing a comedy single called  “My heater started the fire” to the tune of “We didn’t start the fire”. I guess it would need to be a catalog of headline events during my lifetime to be inline with the original, but then I realised it didn’t make any sense, none of this ever makes any sense.

Today I bought tickets to see my favourite singer of all timez. That’s exciting, I mean it doesn’t sound all that exciting to most people so I have been trying to work out an analogy to help the general public understand. Let’s just pretend you were addicted to heroin, and there was a heroin convention in town with a special new type of heroin and you’d saved up all your heroin money for a special occaision just like this. Understand?

Often when I am at home cooking the 3 meals that I know how to cook (baked beans, spaghetti and pizza), I wish I had a more expansive palate and ability to cook. This is my ode to bad cooking and my slow progression in becoming a small/large part of this country’s bid to continue being the world’s most obese nation.