I have come to the realisation that I am allergic to chocolate. Yeah. It’s like telling a heroin junky that he is allergic to the heroin that he loves so much. This is pretty crazy news, especially for me- the guy who needs atleast 500 grams of sugar to get through the day unscathed. Now I have to diminish my White Knight habit, which is probably the hardest part. We had some good times together, and I can honestly say that you, White Knight, are among a handful of people I would trust with my life or let use my new fanta yo-yo. So if you receive chocolate in the mail, consider it a great gift, and cherish it with you life (or yo-yo, depending on what you value more).

Sometimes I google image search to find a particular “theme” I am going for. Guess today’s theme…..

That’s right it’s “I hurt my ankle playing volleyball, and it really hurts!” Google images really captured what I was going for!

The title is misleading for the purposes of hilarity only. I briefly visited China (NSW) on the weekend and now I am ill. I mean thats the only possible way that I got sick. Riding aroung in torrential rain on my scooter without a shirt on or participating in that experimental Flu drug trial probably didn’t cause this illness. Definately China, maybe they could purchase it off me, just like America’s debt. Booyah! And people say I can’t do political satire!!

My body (the wonderland) has given up the ghost. I don’t quite know what was so awesome or addictive about the ghost, but I have given it up. I think the early Monday morning is totally pwnz0ring my body. I have multiple ailments!! Multiple! Atleast I wasn’t hit by a ute on my bike. Sorry to hear that Hermano.

There is nothing more aggravating than getting up at 5:30 am….or so I thought. Apparently getting up at 5:30 to meet your trainer* at 6 and then him not show up, is more aggravating. Being a trainer–I think you’re doing it wrong. How am I supposed to lose these 10 kgs? Makes me so dog-gone mad.

*I’m beginning to doubt the validity of his credentials, something shoulda tipped me off when he said I could only wear speedos to train in.

After 53 days, I got my scooter back. I mean it’s exciting, but it shouldn’t be.  No rejoicing should come from a sheer lack of incompetence, that’s all I’m saying. I know that sounds pessimistic, and well maybe I am, but I shouldn’t be happy just because someone finally did their job. It’s like if the people didn’t collect the garbage for 7 weeks and then they did. Sure, yeah that would probably justify rejoicing. But after the fact, you would seriously be wondering- why did they take so long to collect the heaping pile of garbage off my front lawn.

I think today is the end of these Athletics hats. I’m getting quite sick of not being able to put killr titles in this post just cause I am a man of my word. Today has been dubbed “Fail Friday” by my lame co-worker. Basically because I think every day is a fail day for him, but today was the only day that contained some form of alliteration. He claims it is because the majority of our support today has involved some kind of fail, I claim it is because he fails.

Scootergate has hit like day 23. Things are BLEAK. Turns out they don’t believe in stocking any parts in Australia. ZERO PARTS. Why? WHY? I’m thinking next time I should just buy the Holden Commodore of scooters, that way I know they can always get parts, or I can steal them from a broken down one on the highway. So I have to spend the entire weekend at home again! Any ideas on how I could amuse myself? No, I didn’t think so.