I have realised that the shampoo that I am using here at the Olympics smells like urinal cakes, thus solidifying my belief that Sydney is more like Beijing than anyone ever imagined. Also, it is like they speak another language so they can appear friendly, but secretely they are racists. If you don’t know what I am talking about, ask your trendy friends who live in Newtown.

I know I have mentioned this before, but Sydney really makes me feel like I’m at the Olympics. It’s like someone detonated a population bomb here sometime in the last year. Maybe I’m xenophobic and agoraphobic or as I like to say xerngaphobic, but I swear it was never this busy last time I was here. What happened to that cryptosporidia and giardia scare that they had in the water last decade? Didn’t that even out the numbers a bit? I’m guessing not.

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I mean I don’t want to take all the credit but I think it’s pretty safe to say that through yesterdays post I inspired Kirsty Coventry to win a gold medal. And not only that she broke the WR in the 200 backstroke event. Well Done Kirsty!

So the Olympic theme is travelling quite well I feel. I am enjoying reading the national anthems of all these countries and placing them in the titles. One section of Zimbabwe’s goes-
From Zambezi to Limpopo,
May leaders be exemplary
Now that’s a national anthem you can set your watch to, something to be proud of. I’m pretty sure that the Zambezi is some sort of river system, and I’m thinking that if we had stuff in there like from the Murray to the Margaret that people would get into it more. Anyways, I say all that to say this- Kirsty Coventry doesn’t get the recognition she deserves! I think she has won nearly all of their Olympic medals! So this one’s for you Kirsty!

Peter Van Den Hoogen Band is a legend. I miss when him and Thorpy used to battle it out in the pool, I really do. Atleast he’s not a quitter. Yeah that’s right, I went there.

So i have decided to go to the olympics. It turns out that I’m 8 years too late, that’s right, I’m in Sydney! I know, you probably already guessed it by the way I am typing these words so awesomely. Sydney is the place to be. Today I didn’t go outside until like late afternoon and it was glorious, the staying inside part at least. Most times I come here Sydney smells, but thankfully this time it did not, hooray.

 

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Day 1 of Olympic mania has begun! I miss the days of Communist Russia . I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. There was something formidible about the Reds, the steely glares, the rippling muscles and the stench of pure domination.  Ok, maybe I’m just thinking of Ivan Drago, but still, I miss the CCCP. They haven’t even won a gold medal yet! Hopefully soon?

So today was to begin my tribute to the olympics , with different country hats until the  closing ceremony. It is kind of on the same theme, but I wanted to make special tribute to my favourite olympian- Daria Joura. She was a chance in the gymnastics, but was ‘floored’ by an injury in the team event. She still ’stuck it’ out and helped to ‘vault’ Australia in the gymnastics team final, so here’s hoping that they can really ‘pommel’ the competition. She was originally from Siberia…and this is my headwear related homage.

If you haven’t seen… every Olympic games they have Gender Determination Labs in order to prove the validity of your sex. I guess I never thought I would see the day when this was a necessity. What bothers me most is, how do they determine who to examine? How demoralising would that feel? Excuse me sir/madame, could you please come with us as we believe that you are not a man. It wouldn’t do much for your confidence, would it? I guess if you didn’t win gold, but proved your gender to be correct, you would still go home a winner?

What more of a man is there than Ironman? I bet he wouldn’t have to take a gender test!