The title is misleading for the purposes of hilarity only. I briefly visited China (NSW) on the weekend and now I am ill. I mean thats the only possible way that I got sick. Riding aroung in torrential rain on my scooter without a shirt on or participating in that experimental Flu drug trial probably didn’t cause this illness. Definately China, maybe they could purchase it off me, just like America’s debt. Booyah! And people say I can’t do political satire!!

Beijing! Oh deer. What a crazy whirlwind 24 hours it has been! We worked out that it was 2 planes, 8 trains, 3 buses and 1 taxi-ride, yes Taxi Ride (Get set everybody…we’re on our way). We’ve covered like 2500 kms and it really does feel like it. Pretty over Beijing and it’s public transport that’s for sure. The “main event” was far overshadowed by the other games that were on, and well Jon Stevens didn’t exactly float my boat. I was also disappointed in the sheer lack of crowd participation during Living End’s “White Noise”…like no-one was doing the echo (see post title). However people seemed to know all the words to Manly Manly Manly Manly (sung to the tune of Olê Olê Olê Olê).  But it was free, and something to remember for quite some time, thankfully Purikura washed away any possible bad taste that Sydney may have left in my mouth and my feet.

Look out Beijing, HERE I COME AGAIN!! Obviously, by Beijing I mean Sydney. I’m in the possesion of a free ticket to the grand final, all expenses paid. Booyah! So I tip my hat to you, oh Storm of Melbourne Towne.

Today’s post goes out to Venezuela. Dalia Contreras Rivero tied for bronze in the 49kg Taekwondo to claim their sole medal at the beijing Olympics. Good for her! I bet she kinda feels like I do today…I mean it’s Monday and that sucks, and well she won a bronze. No, that makes no sense, she is an olympic medallist and I have nothing except this empty White Knight packet and minty breath.

Scootergate is really taking it’s toll. I looked in the cupboard today to realise that there was nothing in there that resembled a ‘meal’. Sure there were components- hot choc mix, peas and a giant candy cane- but nothing that could be even remotely assembled. I had pasta and mince, so I started boiling water, only to realise I had no pasta sauce. Things are that dire that I even had to walk to the shop for bread, which is no easy feat if you know where I live. Feels like I’m living back in mother Russia.

My friend said that “we will win 5 gold medals today”. I wanted to make sure I wrote that somewhere where people could see it. If this happens then surely this will be the greatest blog ever created! I mean it probably already is, but this would really validate my outlandish claims. Oh and I know what you are thinking..”why havent I see you around the traps lately???”.  That’s cause ScooterGate is up to like day 18. Yeah, I know.

It’s really quite sad when you realise that your completely rediculous idea that you thought no-one would even follow through on…has already been done. This was part 2 of yesterday’s hairbrain schemery post. I really wanted to have a Pros and Cons website where people could write down their list and see which was better, cause paper is soo outdated and seeing thingz on the internetz make them more realz. You could then publish your list and people could comment on it. If the pros and cons were the same or if you needed advice- I would email them and tell them what to do. But someone already has this idea, well kinda- it’s more like Yahoo Answers then a “Public personal confessional opened up to be rediculed by the world”. I think I might still do it. Also, I may need people to give advice, so if you are keen, leave a comment and give me some good advice.

The week barrels along. It’s about time for a recap of my recent Olympic holiday but I am so perturbed with the thought of it ending. Instead I want to share with you some ideas I’ve got on my mind grapes.  Not so much ideas as they are ‘hairbrain’ ideas, or internet-based schemes if you will. Firstly, I want to set up White Knight Appreciation Society, for lovers of the minty goodness that is the White Knight. I think the first action for that would be a facebook group, just to test the waters, and then I could make the website and begin the viral marketing. White Knight’s will be the new Curly Wurly. If you don’t know what they are, do yourself a flavour and go to a Woolies (not Seven Hills) and buy one. NOW. I will wait for you.

The olympics linger on in both my hearts and in my nostrils. I had the pleasure of attending Dreamworld today, and it seems as though the smells of Beijing have followed. Thankfully this was not the highlight of the day. Like they always say- “you can’t enjoy a theme park until you go with multiple young children”. And boy are they true! I am so tired right now I wish I had a seat from the A-M-C cinema, which are known around these parts for their cloud-like comfort. The end.

I am going to pretend like I’m still at the Olympics. I didn’t really want to leave. It left me feeling faster, higher and stonger, but also sadder. Plane travel makes me insomniacal. So although it’s today, it really is tomorrow. Also plane travel makes me completely non-sensical! The olympic hats continue and I feel as though I am going to pretend like I’m still in Beijing/Sydney for a little while longer still. I’ve got a good feeling about this Australia hat, maybe it will inspire Sally McClennan to an olympic medal? Maybe a bronze, or even silver? I’m just proud that she made the final!