To follow up on those 11 capitalised words from yesterday…. SPEEDWAY! I went to the speedway on the weekend. Actually it was on SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!! Yes. After spending years as a kid wondering what that guy on those ads was so gosh darn excited about, now I know. I’m not sure whether it’s the methanol asphyxiation, spinal injuries or the carnival food, but it’s pretty darn good! What’s not to love.

This is a Monday, and it’s all a little worse for wear. I am tired and sore, but that’s a story for another time, that I really need time to sink in. But in another exciting news…

DAGWOOD DOGS
MULLETS
MONSTER TRUCKS
A LINE-UP FOR MENS TOILETS

We’re going down and you can see it too.
We’re going down and you know that we’re doomed.
My dear, we’re slow dancing in a burning room.

A good friend once said to me- ” There is nothing more erotic than a storm”. I guess those are pretty good words to live by. I enjoy talking on the phone in the dark.

I think today is the end of these Athletics hats. I’m getting quite sick of not being able to put killr titles in this post just cause I am a man of my word. Today has been dubbed “Fail Friday” by my lame co-worker. Basically because I think every day is a fail day for him, but today was the only day that contained some form of alliteration. He claims it is because the majority of our support today has involved some kind of fail, I claim it is because he fails.

Well it’s been fun being completely unoriginal. It’s a shame that this repetition hasn’t translated into massive weight loss. I find it hard to believe that I did not lose/gain any weight in a week! Nothing! I don’t get that. Maybe my skinny friend was right when I asked her the following question-
Me: “hey friend, just a quick Q…”
Skinny Friend: “sure”
Me: “Laxative-friend or foe?”
Skinny Friend: ” Friend.”
Me:” for realz?”
Skinny Friend: “Laxative to the Maxative.”

When I say enchilada you say HEYYY.
Enchilada!  (HEYYY)
Enchilada!  (HEYYY)
Enchilada!  (HEYYY)

Today I said to my lame co-worker…if they have enchilada’s for lunch at the deli today, it’s my shout. Seriously what are the chances? Like 1 in 50. Why can’t I be as lucky in love as I as with enchiladas. Anyone out there see themselves as a human enchilada, if so, plz drop me a line, I’m so lonely.

I’m sitting here listening to Jay-Z thinking that I need to strive to be an East-Coast rapper/media mogul/entrepreneur. Dreaming too large? I’ll let you decided.
It’s a hat for matt, and it’s totally whack
Some say it’s lame, but you know it’s off the chain
I’m laying low and just feeling the flow
Laying the blog like it’s 2 double Oh.

Tonight I am going to weigh things up. People would probably recommend to me that I weigh up more than just my weight.  But what do you know, just cause you have a successful career, wife, a house, a car (or atleast a mode of transport that isn’t broken down), can type more than 50 wpm and know all the words to Umbrella. Sometimes I think that maybe I should strive for 1 or 2 of those things on your list, like today, today I am thinking that. But right now I am also thinking I might have gelati for dinner,  so suck on that Mr. Successful.

I went storm-chasing tonight, or as I’m sure it will be coined tomorrow “republican-chasing”. We were hit with some pretty rad lightning, forks, sporks and all sorts of cutlery related descriptions. We actually got in front of the storm, but unfortunately it headed north and the roads we were on weren’t exactly  ‘as the storm flies’. All was not lost though, as Seacrest and his AT40 was on and we got to  “throw our hands in the ayer , ay , ayer , ayer , ay , ayer. Seriously, wth?!