Has anyone seen my brain? I’m convinced that it must have crossed someones path in the last few weeks. It has a tendency to go for walks this time of year. It doesn’t make much sense to me, seeing as it’s winter and all. I guess brains do a lot of work, and I can imagine that it gets pretty hot up there. Maybe it does make sense. I wish my brain had been securely fastened the other night when I was cooking dinner, I guess I forgot to turn the stove off. I realised it was on when I went to cook the next night, or was it the next next night? Ahh, the joys of living alone………..with a brain that likes to take walks on wintery nights.

Ladies and gents hear my words and hear them true- “The ability to read is a wonderful gift, do not take it for granted”. I know, seems like something that should be so ingrained into our psyche, but so much of the time it just isn’t. Be thankful that you can read this, literacy is a powerful tool and something that YOU should be thankful for. /rant. Can I just say this- the next time you go to buy bread from the local IGA supermarket MAKE SURE you read the small print that says ‘1 inch thick slices’.

ps. This was going to be a tribute to Powdered Toast Man, but I couldn’t find a hat.

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you’ll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she’s in me, always with me, Tony Danza in my hand

A recent study has shown that most people have a general dislike for clowns. Does that really surprise anyone? I mean I think Krusty the clown is the only clown I really like, and I’m sure as heck not going to leave of my kids (that I may or may not have out there) alone with him!

I don’t feel so well. You might say it is the fault of my recent visit to the only Pizza Hut all-you-can-eat restaurant left in the world. Well I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that you should say it… because it is true. I don’t prescribe to my friends notion that they have all shut down because of Australia’s obese population. I think they have all shut down because they make you feel like this. How? Like this.

It seems as though Freddo and I share a special relationship. Every week I go to the grocery shop,  he is on sale. It’s like he knows that I’m going to be there and that the affordable price he is selling himself for is right up my fiscal alley. Most recently he has been giving me 5 free tattoos in every pack! It’s incredible. It’s like he is implicitly catering for my love of chocolate and temporary tattoos, so today I tip my hat to you Freddo. You are the true gentleman of animal shaped Australian-made confectionery.

Rain FTL!! Rain disagrees with me. It’s funny how easy and sensical it is to me to be conversing with rain in the early hours of the morning. I’m like ,”Yo rain, what’s cracking? Do you think maybe that possibly you could stop doing your ‘thang’ for like 20 minutes while I ride to work?” Usually I don’t get a response, but this morning the rain said, “No, and stop asking questions to inanimate precipatory bi-products of condensated atmospheric water vapor .” I thought it was a little weird that the rain was so well-spoken.

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Hi, my name is Something, and I have been completely addicted to mint for the last 3 months. My daily lunch regularly consists of sandwich/burger, mint pattie, white knight x 2. I feel ashamed, but I am hoping that there are others out there that share my pain. The other day I thought about stealing my co-workers birthday money just to get a fix. I may have some kind of iron/zinc deficiency. Yes, that’s what it is. I guess my body needs to do some more mining!

Today I rediscovered Widget the World Watcher. If you ever watched ABC cartoons, you will remember him. He was on just after/before Captain Planet in the afternoons. He was pretty amazing and his friend Mega Brain was pretty rad too, albeit a little clumsy . Anyways, the re-discovery of this has kind of been over-shadowed by the recent allegations revolving around the newest Batman. Sigh. Wednesdays weren’t meant to be this tumultuous.

I know you’re no Cyrano, can’t write those pretty words to show me how you feel deep inside — but oh-oh. Pretty much sums up how I feel today.  After a friend’s recent brush with Nikki herself, it made me realise that if she is still charging $3000 for 2 songs then I can do whatever I like.