I am sitting eating a White Knight and thinking about yesterday. I went to my mates going away BBQ where I was promised to be the guest of honour (sole reason for going) and was later told that this was not the case. So as you can imagine I was already quite ‘put-out’ . The icing on the cake came when my friend’s mother complimented me by saying I was ‘relatively human’. Thanks Mrs Garner, I thought we had something special going on.

Danger Danger high voltage!! When we touch…when we kiss etc. There is a real air of safety in the atmosphere today. I recently bought one of those “heaters that burn people’s houses down”(my workmates exact description) and it has made me a lot more cautious about EVERYTHING! I am thinking about releasing a comedy single called  “My heater started the fire” to the tune of “We didn’t start the fire”. I guess it would need to be a catalog of headline events during my lifetime to be inline with the original, but then I realised it didn’t make any sense, none of this ever makes any sense.

Well I really wanted to do this everyday. And I completely forgot today. Forgot! But it is still 11:17 and I’m totally going to scrape in. I’m tired and my back hurts. This is the best photo to represent that.

Today I bought tickets to see my favourite singer of all timez. That’s exciting, I mean it doesn’t sound all that exciting to most people so I have been trying to work out an analogy to help the general public understand. Let’s just pretend you were addicted to heroin, and there was a heroin convention in town with a special new type of heroin and you’d saved up all your heroin money for a special occaision just like this. Understand?

I recently saw the movie- 21. It made me realise that I am probably not cut out for a career in card counting. It has really put a dent in my self esteem today, and as most people know Thursday is not a great day for my self-esteem. But if anyone is keen to hit up the casino this weekend, I’ve got this system….

Last night I went to Teppanyaki, and dang it was good. So good infact, that it made me forget all my personal troubles and financial crises. It turns out that I was the only ‘virgin’ to this restaurant so the chef made sure he made my night more pleasurable by “seasoning” me with various things (sesame seeds, egg, salt and pepper etc). I did manage to catch everything he threw at me in my mouth, and I figure I have to be able to use this skill in real life…somehow somewhere. My many hats go off to you…Jojene, the eighth wonder of the culinary world!!

Something is in my walls. It keeps waking me up at night scratching away at my brain. Maybe it’s a possum or a mouse or something. I hope it’s not scorpions, if there is one thing that I know about scorpions it’s that I don’t like them. Scorpions FTL.

Things seem to go in patterns. Unemployment, depression, hunger and television.  I base my entire life on my brother’s. His first car was a mini, so my first car was a mini. I took note of when he became unemployed and did the same thing when I was that age. I pretended to like Johnny Cash at the same time he liked Johnny Cash. So 6 years ago he got a gf and now I feel as though I should do the same.

Often when I am at home cooking the 3 meals that I know how to cook (baked beans, spaghetti and pizza), I wish I had a more expansive palate and ability to cook. This is my ode to bad cooking and my slow progression in becoming a small/large part of this country’s bid to continue being the world’s most obese nation.

A loved one was recently involved in a fox attack, crazy I know. He is alright ,but still a little shook up, which is understandable. Maybe he will be more careful next time, and not trust foxes. It turns out that even though the original attack was over…they still think about the occaision fondly. Beware the fox.